I have not, up to this point, done many reflective entries on my blog. Aside from the birthday ones in which I've said what I love about the birthday person, I've mostly deemed my blog a photo album with explanations of the pictures. But, in reading many other blogs by people who do use them to record their more reflective and personal feelings, I've decided that I'd like to take a gander at this idea. I'm not promising much. Usually I'm lucky to have even blogged at all. But, I'd like to try.
I have really been feeling the need to be a better mother. I know this is a common theme for mothers and I've felt it before, but lately it's been pretty painful. Maybe it's because my kids have been out of town at my parents' house for almost a week and I'm missing them so much it hurts, but I want to them to know how much I love them. I want to enjoy them, to have fun with them, to hold on to the few years that I have with them while they are young. I want to savor their innocence, their energy, their all-forgiving love. I want to see their world, have them change my perception, learn from them. I don't think I've done a good job of this. I haven't been a bad mom, I know that. Overall, I think I've been a good mom. But, I want to be better. Maybe better is the wrong word. I want to be a different mom than I've been. I want to enjoy my kids. Not survive them, but enjoy them.
President Hinckley said the following in November 2000 General Conference: "Teach your children when they are very young and small and never quit. As long as they are in your home, let them be your primary interest....Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days....You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out."
2 years ago