Six of One...: Why Moms Don't Take Sick Days

This is what happens when Mom takes a "day off" because she doesn't feel well (i.e. I was home with the kids all day, but didn't pick up after them or do anything except lay around).

Cheese and crackers in the formal living room.

Cards spread out everywhere and the bounce house blown up and then left in the entry way.

The velcroed-on-so-tight-mom-can-can-barely-take-it-off cushion off of the chair.

A zip line created across the stairs.

Beads, you know the ones that are so tiny that you can never pick them all up, spread throughout the house.

Popcorn and crackers all over the floor and butter knives duct-taped to rope.

More cards.

Graham crackers ground into the carpet all the way up the stairs.

So to all of you who wonder what stay-at-home moms do all day, just let them take a day off and you'll realize what they do!

Little Giggles

Ava was looking closely at my face and, pointing to my freckles, said, "Mom, why do you have polka dots?"

I took Claire and Cole to see the musical, "Oklahoma" because some of our friends were in it. After it was over I asked Cole if he liked it. He replied, "It was ok, but it would've been a lot better if it had dinosaurs in it."

I gave Claire a big hug once and she started to fake cry because she said it hurt. I told her there's no way it could've hurt badly enough to cry to which she responded, "Mom, I'm like a sponge - squeeze me tight and I cry."

Ava and Claire were playing house and I overheard this:

Ava: "I'm going to be the brother!"

Claire: "No Ava, you're the sister. You're a girl."

Ava: (pause) "Oh yeah."

I cannot possibly remember all of the random things Cole yells out each day, but here is one I did happen to document:

"My name is Jacob Jacovian! Don't call me Smith until the third grade!"

Ava was building something with her friends and I overheard her say, "Team work, guys!"

Our family was going to clean our church building one Saturday morning and Claire, moaning, said, "I don't wanna clean the church! It isn't ladylike!"

We were at Stake Conference (a church thing) and the speakers were broadcast from Salt Lake City. Cole had been playing on the floor but when the lights turned off and the movie screen rolled down he jumped right up and asked, "Are they going to show Phineas and Ferb?"

"I want to wrap MY Christmas presents, Mom! I won't look I promise!"

-Ava, after I brought out some of her siblings Christmas presents for her to wrap

We hosted Thanksgiving this year at our house. Apparently this was a conversation on the playground between Cole and the daughter of one of the families that was coming over:

Savannah: "I'm coming to your house for Thanksgiving."

Cole: "No you're not."

Savannah: "Yes I am. Your Mom is cooking dinner and we're coming over."

Cole: "You can't be coming over. My mom doesn't cook."

Ava had a lesson in Sunday School about choosing the right. Her teacher told us that Ava said she didn't think she ever chose the right, but when her teacher helped her to see that obeying your mom and dad, saying your prayers, eating a healthy dinner, etc. was all choosing the right she got really excited about it. Ever since then she reminds everyone to say "And help us choose the right" in any prayer that we give. She also reminds Cole that he's not choosing the right when he's having a temper tantrum. And when Grant told the kids how his pet crab at work bit his finger, she exclaimed, "But Dad! He didn't choose the right!" She also yelled out the car window the other day, "Everybody choose the right!" The lesson obviously had an impact. However, when she was in trouble the other day and Grant was reminding her that she didn't choose the right she said, "But Dad, those are just words!"

We were reading out of the Book of Mormon one night about a war between the Nephites and Lamanites. Cole said, "If I were them I wouldn't fight. I would just problem-solve."

When I'm on the computer in the morning and Ava is watching cartoons, she very often yells out to me, "Get me a corn-dog!" She just needs to add "woman!" to the end of it and wear a wife-beater and we could live in a trailer park.

Claire was in time-out and when I went to talk to her about what she'd done wrong she covered her face with a pillow and said, "Claire is closed for business."

Ava was at a horse track with some family friends. The mom told me that when they asked Ava if she wanted a turn riding the horse that she looked at the horse, looked back at them and exclaimed, "No way, dude!"

Our Little Family

Grant and Cassidy both grew up in Texas, however did not meet until they were at BYU together in the fall of 1999. After Cassidy asked Grant out to a girl's preference dance (there's more to that story) they started dating and got married in Salt Lake in the spring of 2000. Claire Violet was born two years later in Aug of '02 in Utah. When Claire was a few months old, the Lundgrens packed up and moved out to Milwaukee, WI where Grant works at Kohl's Department Store's corporate offices in the buying department. They bought their first home in Milwaukee in Jan of '04 and Cole Theodore was born a few weeks later in Feb of '04. The Lundgrens welcomed their third child, Ava Rose, in Nov '06 which forced them to buy a minivan, ending any hope Grant and Cassidy had that they might still be cool. In the summer of '08 the Lundgrens' moved across the country to Phoenix, much to Cassidy's delight. It's been nice to live closer to family and away from Milwaukee winters! Grant now works for PetSmart at their corporate offices and buys cat litter (yes, that's a real job). In Jan 2010 Kate Iris was born into their family, much to all of the older children's delight. Cassidy stays at home with the kids, loves throwing parties, teaches voice lessons, does as much interior design as possible, is in musicals when she gets a chance, and runs a photography business on the side.

Claire's Little Giggles

"My wedding toe hurts!"

-Claire, describing the toe next to her pinky toe, age 8

"I don't like old buildings. They look like they have wrinkles all over them."

-age 7

"Dad your teeth are yellow. In fact one looks gold."

-age 7

Claire was being overly dramatic about something and when I told her to toughen up she said, "I can't mom, I'm fragile."

-age 7

Claire: "I feel boneless."

Mom: "What in the world does that mean?"

Claire: "It's a figure of speech mom. It means I'm about to die."

-age 7

I was loading laundry one night when Claire came up behind me and asked, "Mom, am I a vampire?" When I turned and saw her face I could tell the question was sincere and that she was truly worried. "Of course not, Claire,"I said. "Why would you think that?" She pointed to some glitter on her ear and almost crying said, "Because I have a sparkly ear." I had to explain to her that the vampires in Twilight are just pretend and that she must have gotten glitter on her ear at school during art.

-age 7

Once when my family was visiting everyone was going to go outside to jump on the trampoline. I said I couldn't cuz I needed to lay down (I was still pregnant). Claire didn't hear me and asked my mom what I said. When she told her Claire responded, "Oh yeah, that's my mom's style."

-age 7

"Mom, thanks for doing all this for me. I don't have to do anything."

-Claire, after Mom helped her with a school project, age 7

"I don't have to look at the music, I have it remember-ized."

-while practicing the piano, age 7

Claire came up to me and said, "Mom, people in China live to be two hundred years old, right?" When I laughed and said, no, she insisted, "Yes, they do! Someone in my class told me so! They live to be two hundred years old because they eat their vegetables!"

-age 7

"I'm never going back to school until I'm in third grade!"

-Claire (who's in second grade), on hearing that a boy in her class likes her, age 7

"Grandma, you look GREAT with wrinkles!"
-age 7

I hadn't taken a shower one day so I had a little bit of stubble in my armpits (sorry to share this detail with everyone). Claire saw it and asked what it was. I told her that when you become a mommy you have hair that grows in your armpits. She said, "Yeah, it grows on your legs, too. I've felt yours poke me before."
-age 7

I was inspecting a little pimple on Claire's nose. I tried to kinda poke it and she said, "Mom, stop! That belongs to my skin!"
-age 7

We were at a restaurant with black and white pictures of old movie stars. Grant was explaining to Claire that they were famous people from a long time ago and that all pictures a long time ago were in black and white and t.v. was in black and white. Claire said, "So, t.v. was black and white in the '80s?" This was just a few hours after Claire had asked us if t.v. existed in the '80s.
-age 6

We saw someone on t.v. singing on stage without shoes on. Claire said, "His feet are naked. He's not respecting his feet!"

-age 6

Claire calls history museums "past" museums because its about things that happened in the past.

-age 6

The last couple days it has reached almost 100 degrees. Claire was really excited to wear a new tank top I'd gotten her (probably because I usually don't let her wear tank tops without a shirt under them, but since it was going to be so hot I told her she could). She wore it to school on Tuesday. When I picked her up from school she was wearing a jacket she keeps in her backpack. I asked her why she was wearing a jacket when it was so hot out. She told me that she wanted to wear her tank top again tomorrow since it was supposed to be hot again, so she'd worn the jacket all day long so no one would know that she was wearing the same shirt two days in a row. So, she wore a jacket when it was nearly 100 degrees outside to cover up a tank top that I let her wear so she wouldn't be too hot!

-age 6

Claire was tearing apart her piece of the sacrament bread into little pieces before putting it into her mouth. I told her that it wasn't very reverent to play with the bread and to remember that the bread was supposed to help us think about Jesus. She said, "But, Mom, when I tear it into pieces it's like lots of little Jesus' going into my body!"
-age 6

"I need to measure my heart beep."

-age 6

"Mom, when I'm 18 I'm going to change my middle name to McFurry."

-age 6

Grant was telling someone that he wanted Boise State to win some football game. Claire came up to me with a really confused look on her face and asked, "Mom, why does Dad want Poison Snake to win?"
-age 6

A very random conversation in the car on the way to school the other day:

Claire: "Mom, why is the moon still out?"

Mom: "Sometimes the moon is still out when the sun comes up. It depends on how the earth is rotating in space."

Claire: "I bet it's still out because it likes Phoenix so much since it's so warm here and the moon is cold."

Cole: "Yeah, the moon is cold because it's white. That means it lives where it is ice. It lives where the penguins live."

Claire: "Yeah, and I bet the penguins on the moon probably wear space helmets."

-age 6

Another recent conversation in the car:

Claire: "Mom, have scientists found where heaven is yet?"

Mom: "No, Heavenly Father won't let them find heaven because it's only for good people to go when the die."

Cole: "Where do bad people go when they die?"

Mom: "To a place called hell."

Cole: "I bet the good babies in heaven throw stinky diapers down to the bad people in hell."

Mom (fearing that Cole sounds a little too excited about this new concept and is going to start using the word hell in everyday conversation): "Uh, maybe. But, we don't want to say the word hell a lot. It's not a very nice word."

Claire: "Yeah, let's just call it the dark planet."

Cole: "Yeah, cuz the babies say 'We went down to hell and it is a dark planet!'"

-age 6

Cole was trying to be funny and said that he didn't like himself. Claire said, "But, Cole, you live inside yourself so you have to like yourself." Wise words!
-age 6

Claire was scared the other night. She told us she'd been thinking that if we weren't people then we would be nothing. She also said she'd been thinking about where Heavenly Father came from. This kind of thinking is right up my alley and made me think that maybe Claire is more like me than I thought! Poor girl!

-age 6

Claire: "Mom, I have two boyfriends."
Mom: "Oh, really? What are their names?"
Claire: "One is Ethan. I don't know the other one's name."
Mom: "Oh. So did they tell you they were your boyfriends?"
Claire: "Oh, no. I never ever talk to them."
-age 6

"Mom! You're making this life DIFFICULT!!!"

-age 6

(WARNING: the following is not for the faint of stomach)
Claire has had a recent problem with eating her boogers. I was giving her a lecture about it the other day. She said, "But, Mom, have you ever tried them? They taste good, like popcorn. With a little greasy, too." The next week she said she'd been trying hard not too eat them and she proudly said she only had eaten four that day. Then she said, "I try to follow the golden rule." We asked her what that was and she said, "To not eat your boogers." (I have no idea where she got that.)
-age 6

"Sometimes I'm quiet at school and sometimes I'm talky. I'm half-quiet and half-talky. I'm not half-German or half-Hawaii like some people. I'm just half-talky."
-age 6

"Fee, Fi, Four, Thumb!"

-Claire being a giant, age 5

I was telling the kids the other night that they were going to have a babysitter that night. Claire responded with, "Why, Mom? Because you can't handle us kids?"

-age 5

"Mom! Stop singing so loudly! It's too annoying!"

-age 5

A recent conversation with Claire:
"Mom, what does "vote" mean?"
"It means that you get to say who you want to be the leader of our country."
"Oh. I pick Jesus."
-age 5

Cole: "The dinasours are all dead now."
Claire: "Yeah, they became 'stinked'."
-age 5

One evening we were all eating dinner at the dinner table when Claire very triumphantly exclaimed, "I can burp my ABC's!" (she couldn't but sure did a good job trying)
-age 5

"I need some papers of towels."
-age 5

"Mom, look! I'm wearing my cooking bra!" (referring to her apron)
-age 5

"This is my diarrhea." (referring to her diary)
-age 5

"Grass, rollercoasters and tattoos" is how Claire responded when I asked her to list some things that Heavenly Father made for us to enjoy.
-age 5

Everytime I brush her hair, Claire acts like I am torturing her within an inch of her life. The other day I told her I would give her candy if she didn't cry. So, the whole time I brushed her hair, she clenched her fists, held her breath and shook all over while letting out little bursts of air that couldn't technically be called cries, but definitely let me know she wasn't happy. I have quite the drama queen on my hands.
-age 4

The other day I was singing "Deliver Us" from "Prince of Egypt" really loudly around the house. For days after, Claire would walk around the house singing at the top of her lungs, "Divel us!!!!"
-age 4

When Claire really doesn't want to do something, she often uses the word "certainly." For example, "No, Mom, I will certainly NOT eat that broccoli."
-age 4

One day, around Christmastime, Claire with a very dejected face said to me, "Mom, it's hard to be good." After talking to her, I realized that she was worried that she wasn't going to get any presents from Santa because she always ended up doing something wrong, even if it was by accident. It broke my heart to think that this truth had already hit her at 4!
-age 4

I overheard Claire and her friend talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. The friend asked Claire if she wanted to be a teacher or something and Claire said, "No, I want to be a mom."
-age 4

Claire came running down the stairs the other day crying and said, "Mom, Cole isn't obeying my commandments!"
-age 4

Claire gets the shakes sometimes when she eats something she thinks is gross. When this happens she says, "Mom, this wiggles me!"
-age 4

Claire says "Sleeping Bleauty" (with an "L" in beauty).
-age 3

Claire and Cole were playing Hungry, Hungry, Hippos and all the balls fell out of the game. Claire leaned her head back, put her hands over her face and wailed as if she was dying, "OH, NO! What are we going to do?" She was dead serious.
-age 3

Claire calls pocupines "pokey-pines." Makes sense, I guess!
-age 3

When Claire was introducing Cole to someone the other day, she said, "This is Cole. He's my very best friend."
-age 3

Claire's been afraid of bugs lately and we've talked about not keeping the doors open since that's how bugs get in the house. Well, the other day we were looking through the Primary Songbook and she was asking me the names of some of the songs. We came across, "Our Doors are Always Open." When I read the name to her, she stopped and with a very puzzled look said, "Why? So bugs can come in?"
-age 3

Claire was patting my tummy, which is getting bigger with my pregnancy, and said, "I like your baby." Then she started patting my bum and said, "But why is your bum big?"
-age 3

When Claire thinks she looks good she walks with her hands out down by her hips.
-age 3

Claire woke up in the middle of the night yelling, "Mom! We forgot to brush our teeth!" which was actually true. As soon as I brushed her teeth, she fell right back to sleep. Who knew a 3-yr-old could be so worried about personal hygiene?
-age 3

Sometimes, when Claire's crying and wants to make sure I know how sad she truly is, she starts to pathetically bellow, "Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo!"
-age 3

The other day, Claire was dancing around the house when Cole tried to get her to play with him. She told him in a very grown-up and matter-of-fact voice, "Hold on, Cole. I'm dancing like a beautiful princess."
-age 3

Claire is DEFINITELY a girl. She had an accident at Matthew Taylor's party and had to borrow some of his pants to wear home. The second she saw them, she reeled back in disgust because they were not girly enough. I only convinced her to put them on after I told her she could take them off when we got home, which she did the SECOND we walked in the door.
-age 3

One morning I told Claire that she needed to go tinkle and she responded, "No mom. My tinkle is still asleep."
-age 3

Claire calls all classical music "ballerina music."
-age 2

Claire calls macaroni "mac-and-roni"
-age 2

When we turn off the lights in Claire's room at bedtime, she complains, "I can't see my eyes!"
-age 2

Claire doesn't want us to sing normal songs anymore. She only wants us to sing made-up songs about random things in her room. This, of course, delights Grant to no end and he spends every night coming up with yet another crazy song about her closet or her blanket, etc.
-age 2

Claire had a HUGE tantrum at the post office today with about 30 people watching. I don't even remember what it was about, but at its climax she ran around the post office screaming at the top of her lungs and threw herself into the wall. I ended up having to drag her out to the car while she was kicking and screaming. Ah, being a mother...
-age 2

Claire has been walking around and very matter-of-factly saying, "Some day my prince will come."
-age 2

I ate ONE peach from Claire's can of diced peaches and she threw an absolute fit. She started crying and pointed to the vacant spot where the tiny peach I ate had been and started screaming, "Right there! Right there!" Then, I tried to explain that I was sorry, but there was lots more left for her to eat. She then demanded, "Let me see it! Mommy, let me see it!" So, I had to open my mouth while she looked into it and then she sprawled herself out on the floor, screaming, kicking and pounding her fists because the peach wasn't in there. I think we've officially hit the terrible twos!
-age 2

Claire woke up from her nap one day and started running around in circles, screaming and laughing. I asked her what she was doing and she exclaimed, "I'm just being awake!"
-age 2

We were coming outside Target one evening and the clouds looked very pretty. Claire look up and said, "Pretty clouds! Touch them?" I told her they were too high up in the sky to touch. She stopped for a minute and then said, "Get a chair?"
-age 2

Claire's favorite movie is "Prince of Egypt." She walks around all day saying, "Let my people go!"
-age 2

I told Claire she could have a treat if she was good at the doctor's office. When I asked her what treat she wanted, she paused and then said, "calculator."
-age 2

Claire keeps saying we need to "buy more" of something when we run out of it. Once when we couldn't find the moon in the sky, she said we needed to "buy more moon." Also, once when she didn't have any poopies she said, "Buy more poopies."
-age 2

Cole's Little Giggles

"Where's the scottage tape?"

-age 6

Cole and Claire were talking about what their Chinese birth years were. Claire was taunting Cole because her year is a horse and Cole's is a pig. This of course made him mad and he yelled, "Well when I go to heaven I'm gonna ask Jesus to change my year to a dragon!"

-age 6

I asked Cole to go get dressed one day. He said, "Ok mom," and raising a fist high in the air yelled, "In the spirit of Joshua the third!" and raced off towards his room. Like I've said, he's random.

-age 6

Cole was teasing Claire and said, "You are an evil scientist and you run red lights!" Haven't I said he's random?

-age 6

"I wish I was still young."

-Cole, age 6

Cole asked me what a Jew was. When I told him it was someone who didn't believe in Jesus he looked at me funny and said, "So, Jesus doesn't believe in himself?"

-age 6

I overheard Cole say to Claire, "Don't ask Mom. She always says no. Ask Dad cuz he always says yes." (You can tell who's the pushover in our family!)

-age 6

Cole was being a stinker about something so I said, "Cole, you're a scallywag." Cole responded with, "Well you're a land-lover." He knows his pirate talk!

-age 6

When I was pregnant Cole was describing someone to me and he said, "Yeah and he was a fat person like you, Mom."

-age 5

Cole came up to me and said, with an exasperated expression, "Can I finally be a grown-up now?"
-age 5

The other day Cole yelled, "Mom, Claire won't share with me! And my shoes don't fit! I HATE this life!" (I like to call him my drama king for obvious reasons.)
-age 5

We've started going to a new library. On our first trip there Cole exclaimed, "Mom, this isn't the same library we know and love!"

-age 5

"Dad, why did Jesus make black widows and scorpions live in this world? I want them to live in space so they will die!"
-age 5

I was explaining to Cole why we celebrate Columbus Day. I told him Columbus was the man who found America, to which he replied, "America was lost?"

-age 5

"Mom, we can't brush our teeth because our lollipop teeth are made out of soil. Mom, what's soil?"

-Cole (who has definitely inherited Grant's gene for utter randomness), age5

"Mom, why did Jesus make band-aids hurt so much when you take them off?"
-age 5

Cole came running up to me the other day, sobbing. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I want to be 3 years old again!" When I asked him why, he said, "Because my face was so much cuter then!"
-age 5

"Mom, open this for me please, or else I will destroy you!"
-age 5

Cole has learned how to call Dad at work on my cell phone by pressing the speed dial. He will call him 3 or 4 times a day without my knowledge. During one phone conversation Grant was telling him that he needed to stop calling him because he had to work.
Cole: "But Dad, what if there's an emergency?"
Grant: "If it's an emergency you can call me."
Cole: "Ok, so if I have a heart attack I can call you?"
Grant: "Yes, Cole, if you have a heart attack you can call me."
Cole: "Or what if there's hot lava in my room?"
Grant: "Ok, you can call me then."
Cole: "Or a hurricane?"
Grant: "Sure."
Cole: "Ok, so I can call you for heart attacks, hot lava or hurricanes."
Grant: "Sounds good."
-age 5

Cole is convinced he's going to work with Daddy at PetSmart when he grows up. The other day he told me, "And it's perfect because Daddy already has two computers at his desk! So, I'll just use the second one!"
-age 5

Everyday Cole asks if his hair looks crazy as we're walking into his classroom. He's already becoming self-aware. And, he also said that the kids in his class told him he his little hands (which he does) and he doesn't like it. One of the first things he said on his birthday was, "Now I don't have little hands anymore because I'm 5!"

-age 5

"Mom, that is so marbleeous!"

-age 5

"Oh, crack!" (I think he was trying to say, "Oh, crap!" - not that I like that, of course)

-age 5

Mom: "Cole, you got an invitation to Zach's birthday party!"

Cole: "Which Zach? Crazy Zach or Zach who likes MegaTron?"

-age 4

A very random conversation in the car on the way to school the other day:

Claire: "Mom, why is the moon still out?"

Mom: "Sometimes the moon is still out when the sun comes up. It depends on how the earth is rotating in space."

Claire: "I bet it's still out because it likes Phoenix so much since it's so warm here and the moon is cold."

Cole: "Yeah, the moon is cold because it's white. That means it lives where it is ice. It lives where the penguins live."

Claire: "Yeah, and I bet the penguins on the moon probably wear space helmets."

-age 4

Another recent conversation in the car:

Claire: "Mom, have scientists found where heaven is yet?"

Mom: "No, Heavenly Father won't let them find heaven because it's only for good people to go when the die."

Cole: "Where do bad people go when they die?"

Mom: "To a place called hell."

Cole: "I bet the good babies in heaven throw stinky diapers down to the bad people in hell."

Claire: "Yeah, let's just call it the dark planet."

Cole: "Yeah, cuz the babies say 'We went down to hell and it is a dark planet!'"

-age 4

"See ya later, eyeball-nator!"

-age 4

Cole was fake crying the other day and I told him to stop. He protested, "But, Mom, soon they'll be real tears!!!"
-age 4

Grant and I were singing "We Will Rock You" and Cole asked us with a confused look on his face, "You're going to rock us like you rock a baby?"

-age 4

"Mom, sometimes I'm afraid to die. But, you can only die from hot lava, guns, or monsters, so I guess I'll be allright."

-age 4

When we were unpacking boxes, Cole was DYING to find his Batman costume. When we finally found it he hurried and put it on and dashed into the bathroom to look at himself in the full-length mirror. After a few seconds of staring at his reflection he came up to me with a sad look on his face and asked me, "Mom? Why am I so small?"

-age 4

Cole: "Hi diaper-face Mom."
Mom: "Cole, that's not a nice thing to say to your mom."
Cole: "Well, I meant to say, 'Hi Mom, who I love so much and want to snuggle and kiss her face all over."
(Yeah right)
-age 4

We had just dropped Claire off at school and were walking back to the car when Cole started running off way ahead of me. I called him back and told him that he needed to stay by me, to which he countered, "But, Mom! I can't stay by you. I'm just too fast!"
-age 4

I was explaining to Cole about rain forests and deserts and how a lot of plants grow in the rainforest because of all the rain, but deserts don't have many plants at all because of the lack of rain. After a few minutes of silence Cole asked me, "Mom? Do you know everything?"
-age 4

I had just hung up the phone with a telemarketer when Cole asked me who was on the phone. I said I didn't know who it was. Cole then asked, "Was it another person who wanted to steal your money?" (We'd obviously talked about telemarketers before!)
-age 4

"Ava was going to give me her toy, but then she switched her mind."
-age 4

Cole, knocking on Claire's door: "Superman is here!"

Claire, opening the door: "I knew it was you, Cole."

Cole: "Yeah, I knew it was me, too."
-age 4

"Mom, do you know what that lady wants for Christmas? Us...that's weird."~Cole, while listening to Mariah Carrey's All I Want For Christmas is You.
-age 3

"No, that's a BORING song!!!!"~Cole in his nursery class when told they were going to sing I Am a Child of God.
-age 3

A recent conversation with Cole:

"Mom, where do you go when you're done living in heaven?"

"Well, nowhere. You get to stay in heaven for forever with your family and Heavenly Father."

"So, do you just sleep for as long as you want?""

Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Oh, that's boring. Do they have toys in heaven?"

"Sure."

"Oh. But, are they all golden?"
-age 3

I was singing Armies of Helaman and Cole asked me if that was a church song. I said yes, and he said "Yeah, it sounds like a church song."
-age 3

"Whew! The ghost is clear!"
-age 3

When do something for Cole he often responds with, "Thank you, m'lady."
-age 3

"Mom, somebody cut the moon in half."

-Cole, referring to the half-moon in the sky, age 3

Grant got me some flowers for my birthday. They were starting to droop and Claire said that they were dying. Cole countered, "No they're not. They're just sleeping."
-age 3

We have a friend named Matthew who Cole absolutely idolizes. He's in our ward and also was in Claire's Jr. Kindergarten class. Claire was giggling the other day about how she was going to marry Matthew. Cole got very upset and almost started to cry, saying, "No, I'm going to marry Matthew!"
-age 3

Cole always asks me with a totally straight face, "Mom, can I eat Ava?"
-age 3

Cole was taking a bath by himself the other day. When Grant went in to wash him he saw a huge piece of poop on the floor. Grant asked him what happened and Cole said with a proud smile, "I got my poopies out of the bath for you!"
-age 3

I let the kids paint with acryllic paint the other day (don't ask me why, because the reason doesn't make sense to me anymore). Anyway, I covered the entire table with newspaper and checked on them every minute or two. Well, apparently that wasn't often enough because when I went in there to tell them it was time to clean up there were bright purple and blue handprints all over our brand-new cupboards, stove and fridge. I, of course, freaked out and Cole said, "I'm sorry, Mom! But, Mom, it's just like Blue's Clues!" (Luckily the paint came off so I could later smile at how cute this was.)
-age 2

It was around Halloween time so we had been reading Halloween books. One was about a boy who thought there were ghosts in his closet. Once we realized what the book was about we quickly made up a different story and shut the book (cuz Cole is a huge scaredy-cat), but the damage had been done. Cole started to obsess about ghosts being in his closet. Here is the dialogue from one particular incident regarding this new fear.

Cole: "Dad! I hear a ghostie! It's in my closet! It said Booooooo!"

Grant (who walks into his room and looks in his closet): "There's no ghost in here Cole. See? Now go to bed."

Cole: "But, Dad, I heard it! It said, Boooooo!"

Grant: "I just showed you, there's no ghost in your closet. Now go to sleep." (Goes back into the living room)

A few minutes later...

A low, sinister voice that sounds a lot like Cole doing his best ghost impression: "Booooooo."

Cole: "Dad! I heard the ghost again!"

Grant: "Cole, that was you that said Booooo."

Cole (after a pause): "Oh, yeah."

Grant: "Goodnight, Cole."

Cole: "Goodnight, Dad."
-age 2

Cole always has to do something destructive when he's mad, like knock things over or throw something. The other day, however, we were getting out of the car and he was mad at me for some reason, so he yelled something and then grabbed a pile of leaves and shoved them in his mouth. He then looked at me as if to say, "Oh, yeah? And, what are you going to do about that?"
-age 2

The other day Cole was having a complete tantrum when it was time for his nap. I had been fighting with him for over an hour trying to get him to stay in his bed. He'd been screaming, crying, running out into the hall, throwing himself on the ground kicking and pounding his fists, etc. I had tried EVERYTHING - being firm, not giving into his demands, then giving into his demands, then trying to calm him down, then trying to ignore him, etc. Well, I'd just put him back in his bed for the umpteenth time when I heard him run out again. I got up from the couch, ready to toss him back in. He saw me coming and knowing why, he stopped, pointed at me as if to say "Stop!" and very slowly and adamantly said, "I just need my little scriptures." He then ran into the living room, grabbed a Book of Mormon and climbed into bed. I didn't hear one more peep out of him.
-age 2

Cole likes to find a private spot when he goes #2 in his diapers. The other day he was standing in the kitchen covering his eyes. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I can't find a private place for my poopies so I'm making one."
-age 2

We were visiting my family's ward in Spokane and I went to praimary with both Claire and Cole, since my mom was the Sunbeams teacher and Cole would have hated being in a nursery where he didn't know anyone. The primary asked them to come up so everyone could sing the welcome song to them. Everyone started to sing, when all of a sudden I heard laughing. I looked and, to my horror, Cole was ripping his shirt off to the music! He was laughing his head off, doing a little toddler strip-tease for the whole primary!
-age 2

Cole was playing with my teeth and said, "Mom, why do you have yellow teeth?"
-age 2

We drove by a tractor one night. Since it was nightime there weren't any workers driving it or anything, it was just sitting there as if deserted. Cole said, "The tractor's not working. It needs new batteries."
-age 2

Cole called out in the middle of the night one night so I went into his room. As soon as I got there he started to cry, "Mommy, I don't want to be Batman anymore!" It's hard being a 2-yr-old superhero sometimes.
-age 2

A few days after we told the kids that I was pregnant, Cole started pulling at my shirt trying to peek down it, saying, "I wanna see the baby. Open it!"
-age 2

Cole got a plastic camping equipment set for his birthday. One day he asked Grant to fill up the little cantene with water, which Grant did. Well, later that day Grant went to put his shoes on and stuck his foot into a pool of water in his shoe - Cole had found a great place to dump the water out!
-age 2

Cole always wants to know what the adults are talking about. He'll say, "What, Mommy? What, Mommy?" (as if we were talking to him) until I tell him what we're talking about.
-age 2

Cole loves to be naked. He would be naked 24/7 if it was up to him. Let's just hope he doesn't learn about nudist colonies.
-age 2

Cole has definitely begun the terrible twos. His worst tantrum so far was at Wal-mart. We were standing at the food counter when it reached its peak and the lady behind the counter handed him a bag of popcorn (for free) to try to cheer him up. Well, what does Cole do? He chucks the bag as hard as he could right back at her! After the poor sweet lady cleaned up the mess he made, we sat down at a table. I left Cole in the cart since he was completely ballistic, but that meant he was level with my head. I was talking to Shannon (who was with us) when all of a sudden my head jerked to one side and I heard an ear-piercing "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Cole had grabbed my hair as hard as he could and was holding on like his life depended on it. I was literally trying to peel his hands off the top of my head while looking at him sideways. Of course, there were about 10 other people watching the whole scene. Ah, the joys!
-age 2

Cole stores food in his cheeks. I swear he is part chipmunk. We always find food (broccoli, carrots, even chicken nuggets) hours and hours after we have eaten.
-age 2

Cole can be hard to put down to sleep. I think it's because he loves to snuggle and doesn't want to go to sleep alone. Well, very often he's in his bed crying because he doesn't want to go to bed. We have often heard him shout out to no one in particular, "I wanna scream!" and then scream at the top of his lungs. He definitely likes to communicate his feelings.
-age 2

My family was in town for Christmas and we were taking pictures at Shannon's house in one of her bedrooms. Cole was not cooperating so we gave him a piece of fudge, thinking that he would then sit still on Grant's lap. But, no, as soon as he got the fudge he ran as fast as he could out of the room and shut the door on us all so we wouldn't take the fudge away from him!
-age 1

When Cole is worried about or doesn't want to do something we've asked him to, he says, "No, I'm too little."
-age 1

Cole always sleeps with his pacifier - we call it a passie. We went to the pet store the other day and saw a mouse sleeping in his cage. When I showed the mouse to Cole, he looked at it for a minute and then said, "Where's (his) passie?"
-age 1

Cole LOVES daddy! Whenever I say Grant's name during the day Cole gets insanely excited and then says his name over and over and over for seriously, like, fifteen minutes.
-age 1

The pediatrician was very surprised that Cole had been babbling since 5 months, which now as I type this, doesn't surprise me at all! He's hasn't stopped "babbling" since!
-age 5 mos

Ava's Little Giggles

Ava loves corn dogs, although she usually just eats the breading off of it and leaves the hot dog untouched. One day after doing just that she held up the hot dog part and said, "Look, it's a naked dog!"

-age 3

"It's ok, mom. You can clean it up."

-Ava, after she spilled cereal on the table, age 3

Whenever Ava doesn't want to eat something she says, "No that make my sick."

-age 3

My dad was talking to Ava on the phone and said he wanted her to come see him. Ava said, "But I don't know where your self is!"

-age 3

Everyday Ava asks me, "Mom, today are we having yummy dinner or yucky dinner?"

-age 3

The kids and I stayed in Utah for another week this summer after Grant had to fly back home to go back to work. The kids and I went to lunch with my brother one day and Kevin asked Ava where her daddy was. Her response was, "He's at work...back in my world."

-age 3

Ava's favorite color is blue and Cole's is red. Ava and I were in the parking lot one day when Ava exclaimed, "Look, mom! I see blue cars and red cars! Jesus made blue cars for me and red cars for Cole!"

-age 3

Cole and Claire were saying I was weird and Ava said, "I don't think you're weird Mom. I think you're lovely!"

-age 3

Ava's primary teacher told me that she was asking each of the kids what they were thankful for that Heavenly Father gave them. Most kids responded with "my family, my house, food to eat, etc." Ava's response was, "Scooby Doo!"

-age 3

Ava has started to whine a lot when she needs something. Whenever I say, "Ava can't you see I'm busy?" she says, "No, mom, I can't. Look," and closes her eyes as tight as she can.

-age 3

"Uh-oh, Mom. Tinkle is spilling."

-Ava, while having an accident, age 3

Ava: What day is it today?

Mom: Tuesday

Ava: Awww, man! I wanted it to be Scooby Doo Day!

-age 3

Ava: "Cole, you're a stinky bum-bum."
Mom: "Ava, we don't call people stinky bum-bums."
Ava: "Ok, stinky bum-bum."
-age 3

Mom: I can't find the car keys!

Ava: Oh, I know where they are, Mom.

Mom: You do? Where are they?

Ava walks off without saying anything.

Mom: Ava, where are the keys?

Ava: Mom, I can't help you. I'm too busy.

She walks over to Kate, who is in her car seat.

Mom (in louder, more agitated voice): Ava, I need you to help me. We're already late and I can't find the car keys. Where are they?

Kate starts crying.

Ava (whispering): Mom, you're waking up Kate. Please be quiet.

Mom: AVA! I NEED YOU TO HELP ME!

Ava (still whispering): Can you hand me Kate's bottle? I need to feed her.

Mom: AVA!!!!

When I finally found the keys I realized she'd had no idea where they were, which is maybe why she all of a sudden got so "busy".

-age 3

Grant's dad was visiting and asked Ava if Baby Kate (as we call her) drank milk. Ava said, "No." So he asked what Kate drank, then. Ava answered, "Hot lava."

-age 3

"Mom, you can't get dressed. Daddy likes to see you naked."

(NO CLUE where she got that idea! I think we should be very worried!)

-age 3

Ava has been going through a stage where we can't call her by her name. Usually when we start a sentence with her name, such as "Ava, you need to..." she interrupts us and says, "No, call me Bo Bo." So, we have to say, "Bo Bo, you need to pick up your clothes" or whatever. It's really fun when she makes us do it in public! One time, she surprised me though when I said "Ava!" and she responded with, "No, Mom. Call me Real Man."

-age 3

Ava came up to me one day and completely out of the blue said, "Mom, I don't want to take a bath in the freezer."

-age 3

Lately we've had a difficult time getting Ava to go to sleep, for naps and at night. She's started using the excuse "But, I'm tired of going to bed!"
-age 3

Ava was in the car with Grant and two of his brothers. Grant asked Ava who had the biggest muscles out of all of them. Ava said, "Uncle Ryan." Grant reacted with, "Ava! You have to say Daddy!" to which Ava replied, "Oh. My bad."

-age 3

There's this one office building near our house that Ava calls "Daddy's work" (even though it isn't, but I guess it kinda looks like it). The other day she noticed another office building across the street from it and exclaimed, "Look, Mom! TWO daddy's work!" (Daddy must work in every single office building in the country!)
-age 2

There was a storm outside and Claire and Cole were scared. Ava said, "Don't worry guys. I'll fight it for you!" (And she probably would!)
-age 2

I was laying outside Ava's room trying to get her to stay in bed for a nap. Cole came up and laid next to me. Ava stuck her head out of her door, pointed to Cole and said with a grin on her face, "Cole's trouble. I do know that! Cole is trouble!" (I have no idea where she got that phrase or what she even meant by it but it sure was cute!)
-age 2

Being pregnant, my back hurts almost immediately if I hold Ava. So, every time she asks to be held I say, "No, Ava, it hurts Mommy's back." Well, the other day she was trying to convince me to carry her and she said, "Please, Mommy! My back hurts!"
-age 2

We took the kids to see a movie the other day in the theater. During the movie, Ava turned back, pointed to the projector and said, "Look, Daddy! Flashlight!"
-age 2

Ava is a hitter. I've never had a hitter before, so this is my first time trying to discipline this sort of behavior. When she hits I always put her in time out, but one day it was not having any sort of effect. So after she hit Cole for the umpteenth time, I told her if she hit again I would have to give her Tobasco Sauce. (We've started doing this with the older kids as time out is becoming less and less of a deterrent. When they have bad behavior I count to 3 and if I get to 3 they get a tiny dab of Tobasco Sauce on their tongue. They absolutely HATE this and it usually is a strong enough threat to stop their behavior.) Well, of course she hit him again. So, I put a dab of Tobasco Sauce on my finger and put it on her tongue. As you can imagine, she completely FREAKED out and screamed like her head was on fire. She went running to Grant (who of course held her like he wasn't the bad guy, only mom was). As he was consoling her, she looked at me and screamed, "I love DADDY!!!!!!" She wasn't quite sure how to say, "I'm mad at you" but she knew how to say "I love someone and that someone is most definitely NOT you!"
-age 2

Ava always says thank you. When I give her the food she wants, or the books she wants, or even if I tell her I like her shoes, she'll always say "Tank you, Mom! Tank you!" while she nods her head and smiles.
-age 2

Mom: "Ava, what are you standing on?"
Ava: "My feet."
-age 2

"Mommy, I need you! You're my best friend!"
-age 2

I woke up from a nap and Ava asked me, "Mommy, why are you dead?"
-age 2

As most everyone knows by now, Ava loves to be a dog. One day during church, I was up at the organ and in between hymns I looked over at our family, who was sitting across the room, to smile at them. Ava saw me and got so excited that she let out a huge "RUFF!!! RUFF!!!" that could be heard echoing throughout the chapel. When Grant tried to quiet her down she turned her head and starting licking him all over his face while panting.
-age 2

Ava walks like a football player. Really.
-age 2

Ava loves to wear her dog costume everywhere we go, which means it gets absolutely filthy before too long. I was able to pry it away from her one day and had it in the laundry room waiting to be washed. Well, she found it and had a fit that I wouldn't let her wear it. I told her it was too dirty and that we had to wash it. I put it back in the laundry room and went off to do something else. When I walked into the living room a few minutes later, I saw Ava sitting on the floor with a box of diaper wipes. She had gotten her costume out of the laundry room and was scrubbing it with the wipes so it would be clean enough for her to wear again.
-age 2

Ava always says, "Oh, man!" (which is really cute coming out of a little two-year-old.)
-age 2

Ava is my most physically active child by far. She loves to wrestle, climb, hit, jump, etc. She loves the leather chair we have in our family room and will spend hours climbing on it and jumping off it. Half the time she'll flip upside down on it and just hang out on her head. She'll definitely require some new parenting techniques, I think!
-age 2

Ava is a hitter. I've never had a child who really hits, but she does. She does it to be funny or when she's angry. I'm not quite sure how to handle it yet.
-age 2

Ava is the first child I've had who's climbed out of a pack 'n play. We were in Las Vegas over Christmas and I'd put the kids down at my aunt's house and then walked over to my grandma's house to hang out with some family over there. My cousin who's 15 stayed at my aunts house with the kids. When I returned after about an hour and a half my cousin was holding Ava and said, "I was just about to come get you! I just barely walked up the stairs and saw Ava just standing in the hallway looking at me." When we went up to the room where she was sleeping (or supposed to be anyway) we saw a small mess. She obviously had figured out how to climb out and then spent an hour and a half "playing" in the room.
-age 2

Ava calls Far Far "Grandpa Dave." We've tried over and over to get her to say "Far Far" and she'll repeat the words after us but then when we point to him and say "Who's that?" she'll smile and say, "Grandpa Dave!" Luckily, Far Far is a good sport.

-age 1

Ava calls Cole "Er." We'll ask her to name everyone and she'll say, "Mommy, Daddy, Claire, Er."

-age 1

Friday, June 19, 2009

Why Moms Don't Take Sick Days

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